Sports Jokes

Score comedy goals with funny sport jokes from Beano: armed with these top sport jokes you WIN!

Doctor, doctor! They've dropped me from the cricket team - they call me butterfingers…

Don't worry, what you have is not catching!

Why do golfers wear two pairs of shorts?

In case they get a hole in one!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

What blows at 100mph and always scores?

A Harrykane!

Who's the most dangerous footballer?

Eden Hazard!

Why is Ronaldo's bedroom always tidy?

Because he's not Messi!

Who's the slipperiest footballer?

Antoine GREASE-man!

Who was the horse's favourite footballer?


What's healthy and scores a lot of goals?

Fruit Salah!

Which footballer makes the best coffee?

Diego Costa!

Who was the sheep's favourite footballer?

Paul PogBAAA!

What sport is a Brontosaurus good at?


What's the chilliest football ground?

Cold Trafford!

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

Which football team loves ice cream?

Aston Vanilla!

Why couldn't the car play football?

It only had one boot!

Why don’t fish play tennis?

They’re scared of the net!

Are lightning bolts good at football?

No, they're shocking!

Why are basketball players messy eaters?

They're always dribbling!

How do footballers stay cool?

They sit next to their fans!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Discover How England Will Do in the Football with Our Amazing Predictor!

More stuff